Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi Wan visit Gram Gram's
by jasongraces
Summary: Funny one-shots about visiting relatives!
1. ObiWan

This is just a funny one-shot I wanted to do! The characters are pretty OOC, but enjoy!

**Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan visit Gram-Gram's**

*Obi-Wan is speaking into his comlink*

Obi-Wan: No…I…listen gram-gram! I don't want to! Every time you make- I don't! Good bye!

*Obi-Wan turns off the comlink*

Anakin: So… who was that?

Ahsoka: Sounded like he was talking to his "gram-gram?"

Obi-Wan: Her name is MeeMaw! I call her gram-gram when I'm mad!

Anakin: Then, why are you mad at her?

Obi-Wan: She wants me to visit.

Ahsoka: Then let's go visit!

Obi-Wan: I am not visiting MeeMaw!

*Anakin and Ahsoka then drag Obi-Wan into the Twilight and take off*

Obi-Wan: I can't believe I'm visiting MeeMaw.

*They stood in front of a little house on Naboo away from the city of Theed*

Ahsoka: Oh, she's probably really sweet!

*Anakin knocks on the door loudly. Anakin and Ahsoka giggle. A crippled woman opens the door. She smell like bantha poop and that weird old people smell*

MeeMaw: …hmm? Who's there?

Obi-Wan: It's me MeeMaw.

MeeMaw: Obi? Oh sugar puffs and cream!

*MeeMaw goes to hug Obi-Wan and he pushes Anakin into MeeMaw*

MeeMaw: Hmmm, how muscular you are! Mmm hmm!

Anakin: Get her off me! (Anakin said through his teeth)

*Ahsoka and Obi-Wan giggled*

MeeMaw: Oh please come in and have some grub! Let me go get my spectacles.

*Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka walked in the little house*

Ahsoka: Master? You smell like crap.

Anakin: Shut up.

*The three sat down at a little table. MeeMaw walked in with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Anakin reached and took a bite of one*

Anakin: Oh God.

*He runs out of the room with his hand over his mouth*

Obi-Wan: Did I mention that you shouldn't eat the cookies?

Ahsoka: Why…

Obi-Wan: She doesn't follow a recipe.

Ahsoka: Oh.

*Anakin runs back in*

Anakin: What does she put in those? Defiantly not love…

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan: We don't know.

Anakin: Hold on…

*Anakin runs back to the bathroom*

Obi-Wan: Maybe too much love.

Ahsoka: No Pepto-Bismol for sure…So why don't you like coming here? The cookies?

Obi-Wan: No…

*A guy with hair similar to Anakin's walks in*

Obi-Wan: Him…

Bruno: Hey hey Obi!

Obi-Wan: Cousin Bruno, hi.

Bruno: Oh shosh! So silly!

(A/N: He has a girly voice)

Bruno: Mmm, girl who is this?

Ahsoka: Um I'm Ahsoka.

Bruno: Mm, Ahsoka girl. Hmm… Oh! Hey hey boy!

Anakin: Are you um talking to me?

Bruno: Yeah boyy!

Anakin; Uh hi.

Bruno: Mmm, you strong and handsome…You wit Obi?

*Anakin stares at Bruno*

Bruno: Oh! Mmm mmm. Savin' it for the ladies. I see. You two I guess? A-ha I see it! Well Obi, friends, G2G!

*Bruno walks away*

Anakin: Were never coming back.

*MeeMaw walks in*

MeeMaw: Oh Obi! I didn't realize you have brunette hair! Sexy!

Anakin: MeeMaw, your little Obikin is over there.

Meemaw: My mistake you handsome devil. Obi!

*MeeMaw hugs Obi-Wan*

Obi-Wan; We're gonna have to leave MeeMaw.

MeeMaw: Not yet puddin'! We gotta watch the videos!

*MeeMaw nudges Anakin*

MeeMaw: We've got ones of him on the potty and in the tub!

Ahsoka: We can stay as long as you'd like Mrs. Kenobi!

MeeMaw: Good! Good! Come let's watch! Bruno! We watchin' the videos!

Bruno:" Oh my God! Let's go! Let's go now!

*They all walk into the living room. Obi-Wan stays in the kitchen*

MeeMaw: Okay, OH LOOK! Christmas!

Bruno: Oh look at me! Sexy beast!

MeeMaw: And Obi on his first speeder bike!

*Anakin and Ahsoka are sitting on the couch laughing*

MeeMaw: Ha ha! Oh his first case of diarrhea! Mmm, that was gross.

Bruno: Oh Obi! Remember when we took our first bath together! I brought my rubber ducky and you brought yours!

Obi-Wan: Mother we have to go!

MeeMaw: Awe so soon? Oh, well Jedi gotta do what Jedi gotta do. Come back anytime Obi!

Ahsoka: Oh Mrs. Kenobi we'll come back whenever we can!

Bruno: Oh my gosh! Obi and I in the sprinkler!

MeeMaw: Yes. And bring your brown haired friend too. Mmm hmm.

Bruno: Bye Obi.

*The three boarded the Twilight and took off towards Coruscant*

Anakin: We're coming back next week!

Obi-Wan: Oh God!

Hhahahhahahah! Hope you liked it! REVIEW!


	2. Ahsoka

Eh board and maybe I'll type these when I'm board. HOPE YOU LIKE IT AS MUCH AS OBI-WAN'S!

**Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan visit the Great Aunt!**

It was another bright and sunny day on Coruscant! Anakin was polishing Artoo and Obi-Wan was reading a book and sipping tea. Ahsoka, however, was picking roses in the Temple garden. She filled a basket full of them and walked inside.

Ahsoka: Good morning Master!

Anakin: Hello Ahsoka!

Ahsoka: I picked a rose for you!

Anakin: Um…thanks?

Ahsoka: Oh it's nothing Master Skywalker! See you around!

Anakin: Yeah…around…

Ahsoka then skipped off to find Obi-Wan. He was in the library reading a datapad about Shili.

Ahsoka: Good morning Master Kenobi!

Obi-Wan: Good morning Padawan! What brings you here?

Ahsoka: I picked a rose for you!

Obi-Wan: A rose? For me? Why thank you!

Ahsoka: What are you reading, if you don't mind?

Obi-Wan: Oh about the many myths of Shili. Tell me, do you know a "Periwinkle Tano?"

Ahsoka: Periwinkle Tano? I'm not… OH MY GOD.

Obi-Wan: What is it?

Ahsoka: That's my great-great-great-great-great-great aunt!

Obi-Wan: Is it now? It seems she's turning 133 today!

Ahsoka: Oh well! I guess she'll be dieing soon!

Obi-Wan: Wait! We should visit her before she passes! She lives in the Eurydice Gardens in the North Forest! Let's go!

Ahsoka dropped her basket of roses. Obi-Wan grabbed her arm and dragged her to where Anakin was.

Obi-Wan: Hey Anakin! Where going to see Ahsoka's great-great-great-great-great-great aunt! Care to join us?

Anakin: Heck Yes!

They all climbed aboard the Twilight and took off towards Shili. Ahsoka pouted the whole way. Soon enough, they arrived at the door-step. Anakin knocked on the door.

*door opens just a crack*

Shaky voice: He-hello?

Anakin: You must be Ahsoka's great-great-great-great-great-great aunt!

Periwinkle: Hmm, I am. Are you tryin' to sell me butterscotch truffles?

Obi-Wan: Er no, we're here to celebrate your 133rd birthday!

Periwinkle: Birthday? I know nothing of this birthday! What? The CIS hire you to take Poncho?

Anakin: Poncho?

*opens door all the way*

Periwinkle: Yeah, my rabid kitty-squirrel! So if you two "Macho Men" are here to take her, Ima bust yow gut!

Ahsoka: Auntie? It's me Ahsoka?

Periwinkle: Ahsoka? What's that suppose to be? A dessert? A fancy toe nail clipper? Some distant tribe?

Ahsoka: I'm your niece?

Girl: Mom! Who's at the door? I wanna know now!

Periwinkle: I'LL TELL YOU WHOS AT THE DOOR ONCE YOU AGREE TO MASSAGE MY FEET!

Girl: You're so mean Mom!

Periwinkle: Where were we?

Girl: Mom! Where is the Swiss Cheese?

Periwinkle: I DON'T KNOW YOU UGLY FART BAG! SHUT UP!

Girl: Ugh! Whatever!

Periwinkle: Maybe we should finish this inside…

The three cautiously follow the 133 year old into the cottage.

Periwinkle: Take a seat and I'll get us some fruitcake!

Girl: Mom! Poncho peed on your robe again!

Periwinkle: SHUT UP! I AM MAKIN SOME FRUITCAKE! GO ENTERTAIN THE GUESTS!

Girl: Ugh whatever Mom!

*the girl walks in the room*

Girl: Who are you people?

Ahsoka: I'm your cousin, LaFawnduh.

LaFawnduh: OMG! It is you Silly Soka! Eh wow!

Ahsoka: Does Aunt Periwinkle still have Poncho?

LaFawnduh: No silly billy! She got all crazy in the head once she hit the 98 mark! Poncho has been dead for a decade!

Anakin: Well that's good know!

LaFawnduh: And who might you be handsome devil?

Anakin: I'm Anakin. *flips hair* Anakin Skywalker.

LaFawnduh: Oh, I like that.

Periwinkle: THE FRUITCAKE IS DONE!

Periwinkle drops a circular cake in front of them. She pulls out an electric saw out of nowhere and cuts the cake.

Periwinkle: I hate power tools!

LaFawnduh: Shut up! No one wants to hear you!

Obi-Wan: We have to get going…

Ahsoka: Yeah…see you around.

Anakin: So here's my number and my e-mail for Skype, ya know if you ever wanna see me.

LaFawnduh: Oh any time.

Ahsoka: Let's go Romeo!

She pulls Anakin out of the house along with Obi-Wan

Ahsoka: And that's why I never come here.

Anakin: We'll have to come back next week to check up on LaFawnduh.

Obi-Wan: Yes and I'd like to here some more tales from your aunt.

Ahsoka: Oh man.

**Hahahha! You are welcome! I might update again tonight! I though of something really good for Anakin! It answers the question of why all these people love Anakin…hahahh yay!**


	3. Anakin

Here it is! Why Anakin is so Hot!

**Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan visit the Asylum! **

Obi-Wan: So Anakin, do you have any relatives you're embarrassed about?

Anakin: Nope. I'm perfect. I do have a friend I'd consider a brother though…

Ahsoka: Oh?

Anakin: Yeah…lemme take you back…

**_-Flashback-_**

_001 Graveyard Road – Coruscant Asylum_

Big Guy Jones: And you'll be here forever!

Anakin: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Big Guy Jones: Yeah. That's how we do what we do.

Anakin: How am I gonna save the universe in here?

Guy: You won't…

Anakin: Who are you?

John: I'm John Jacob Jingle Himmer Schmidt. John Jacob for short.

Anakin: Hi John Jacob. I'm Anakin. How'd you get in here?

John: I was much too ugly…*steps out of darkness* now I'm gorgeous.

Anakin: Dag. I wanna be that beautiful!

John: You can if you follow these rules. 1. Praise The God…2. Pray for The God…3. Love The God.

Anakin: Who's The God?

John: In time you'll see.

*He then led Anakin to a super tall tower. On top was a 15yr old singing*

Anakin: Who is that?

John: The God.

Justin Bieber: And I was like Baby, baby, baby OHHHHH! Baby, baby. Baby, Nooooo!

John: Yo Justin! We got a newbie!

Justin Bieber: Jacob Jingle! What's poppin' bro?

John: Newbie right here.

Justin Bieber: Snap! He's ugly!

Anakin: Gosh that's mean.

Justin Bieber: Don't sweat it bro! John and I will make you gorgeous by the end of the week. Remember it's only a 5-Day Free Trial.

Anakin: Um…right.

John: By Monday, the girls are gonna be chasing you up and down the avenues!

Anakin: Yess…

Day 1

JB: Alright Anakin, First off, you need a talent.

Anakin: I'm open for suggestions.

JB: How about a Ghostbuster?

John: You remember Mario? He didn't graduate with that talent.

JB: Oh, good call. What about a…hmm…I got it! A male model!

Anakin: I'm diggin' it!

JB: Let's go!

At the modeling center…

JB: Ay Tyra! Hook this guy up!

Tyra: I'll get him to be one of the sexiest swimsuit models ever!

JB: Yeah. By tomorrow!

Day 2

Tyra: So Justin, how's this?

*Anakin comes out wearing cargo shorts and showing off a six pack of abs*

JB: Oh! If I was a girl, you'd be my bedroom wallpaper!

Tyra: Anytime Bieber!

JB: Alright Anakin, you got the abs, now you need the face.

Anakin: Where will I get that?

JB: Here. Zac.

Zac Effron: Hey JB! Dang that guy is ugly, nice abs though!

JB: He needs sparkly teeth by tomorrow.

Zac: I'll make his face beautiful…but I'll have to send him over to Chip Skylark to fix them teeth.

JB: Cool. By tomorrow!

Day 3

Zac: How is this Justin?

JB: Whoa! Are you sure you're giving me Anakin?

Zac: I am bro. I have to go get working on some Dooku so see ya!

JB: Alright. You are hot now. Before you graduate, only a few things left. One is your hair and the other is your title.

Anakin: My title?

JB: Yeah like mine is "Bieber Fever." John's is "Jealous of John."

Anakin: Oh. Let's get to hair!

JB: I'm actually helping you with hair.

8 hours later…

JB: There! Nice shade of brunette to match your blue eyes. Oh and the bonus! Flip it.

*Anakin flips hair*

Anakin: Dang.

*Flips hair again along with Justin. The two have now been flipping their hair for 2 minutes*

JB: Now for a title. Hey fangirls! My bro hear needs a title!

FG 1: OMG! HOT HOT HOT!

FG 2: SEXY SKYWALKER!

FG 3: SKYWALKER SPIRT!

FG 4: SKYWALKER SENSATION!

FG 5: MY NEW BOYFRIEND.

JB: I like them…which is your favorite?

Anakin: Sexy Skywalker is perfect but Skywalker Sensation seems more me.

JB: Yea I liked that too. Go get some beauty sleep.

Day 4

JB: Morning Anakin.

Anakin: Yeah sup JB. What are we doing today?

JB: Today's the street walk. We put you in a random street and see how many girls come up to you.

Anakin: Seems easy.

JB: To move on, you must have at least 5. I got 10.

Anakin: I'll beat that easily.

*Anakin goes to the street and starts walking*

G1: Hey there…

Anakin: What's up?

*Score goes to 1*

G2: Hello handsome…

*Score goes to 2*

G3: Not to be awkward, you're really hot!

Anakin: I get that a lot.

*Score goes to 3*

G4: You single? *throws number at Anakin*

*Score goes to 4*

G5: Hey boy…

*Score goes to 5*

G6: *waves and blows a kiss*

*Score goes to 6*

G7: You wanna hang out some time?

*Score goes to 7*

G8: OMG! You are SO HOT!

G9: Yeah way!

G10: So hot I wanna bake cookies on him!

G11: You wanna come to the movies with us?

*Score goes to 11*

JB: Come Anakin.

*Anakin walks from group of girls*

JB: You've passed. You're free to go back to Coruscant.

Anakin: Thanks Justin! You're my homeboy.

JB: Yeah, don't forget it!

Anakin: I might send a friend down.

JB: Yeah I'll be waiting.

**_-Flashback End-_**

Obi-Wan: That is defiantly not true!

Anakin: It is so! Here's that girls number!

Ahsoka: You met Justin Bieber! OMG! Call him up!

*Dials Justin's number*

JB: Anakin? Hey bro what's poppin'?

Anakin: What now Kenobi?

*Flips hair*

**For the record, I HATE JUSTIN BIEBER! HE COULD DIE IN A HOLE AND I WOULDN'T CARE! LOL. That was fun to write! P.S. LaFawnduh, Bruno, and JB will be back! **


	4. Rex

I had a great idea alert! Sorry that I haven't updated my other stories! I will though!

**Anakin, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan and Rex? visit the Girlfriend**

Anakin and Obi-Wan were looking down upon the new planet they had just conquered. Suddenly, Ahsoka burst onto the bridge pulling on Rex's arm.

Ahsoka: Masters! Guess what? Rex has a "lady friend!"

Anakin: A "lady friend?"

Ahsoka: Yeah!

Obi-Wan: Don't you mean a "girlfriend?"

Ahsoka: Yeah! Um, Rex is she your girlfriend?

Rex: Well, um, sure…I guess…

Ahsoka: I have the best idea ever!

Anakin: What!

Ahsoka: We go visit her!

Rex: No! She's a little…

Ahsoka: Who cares! Let's go find her!

The gang then drags Rex into the Twilight. With Anakin in the pilot's chair, Rex directs them where his "girlfriend" lives. They finally reach Cato Nemodia and walk to a house among the city.

Rex: *knocks on door*

Girlfriend: Who's there?

Rex: People.

Girlfriend: Are you sure? You sound a little ghostly there.

Rex: Lulu, it's Rex.

Lulu: You alone?

Rex: I've brought some people to meet you.

Lulu: You brought Edward Cullen and Jacob! I love you Rexy! *opens door and runs out*

Anakin: Um… *is being hugged by Lulu*

Lulu: Oh Jacob! You're even cuddlier in person! *let's go of Anakin* And Eddy! Wow you're pale! *grabs Obi-Wan*

Obi-Wan: Ahem…Rex? *Lulu releases her grip*

Lulu: Wow Bella, how long were you in the tanning bed?

Rex: Lulu? That wasn't the Twilight cast.

Lulu: Then why was Jacob so cute and cuddly?

Rex: Um, just let's go inside and talk.

Lulu: Okay! Don't bring the spirits in with you!

Anakin: Should I be scared?

Lulu: No Jacob…I should be scared because you're a scary wolf. Rawr. *makes claw with hand*

Anakin: Oh.

Obi-Wan: So Lulu, how long have you known Rex?

Lulu: 5 long and tiresome days. This is his second visit.

Ahsoka: How cute! These kittens are adorable! *picks one up*

Lulu: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING BURNT BELLA? Don't touch Zeus!

Ahsoka: Why?

Lulu: Hera is watching from the stairs!

Ahsoka: Hera?

Lulu: Do you know anything about the Greek Gods?

Ahsoka: No.

Lulu: Well Zeus is married to Hera, but Zeus likes to go "play" with the other ladies and Hera doesn't like that.

Anakin: So Zeus goes around ra-

Lulu: We don't use that language here! Or I'll have to send you down with Hades!

Anakin: Okay. Why the hell did you name your cats after the Gods?

Lulu: You have crossed the line Jacob! Down to Hades! Hermes, where are you.

A black and white cat walks in and bites Anakin's toes.

Lulu: Take Jacob to Hades. Don't let Cerberus up here though.

Cat meows and trots towards the basement. Anakin follows. (How stupid…) Anakin walks down the steps. A huge dog starts barking.

Anakin: You must be Cerberus! *Hermes goes up the steps. Anakin tries to but the dog blocks him*

Lulu: We'll keep that potty mouth down there for a bit.

Obi-Wan: How many cats do you have?

Lulu: Hard to say. I have Aphrodite, Cronos, Apollo, Uranus, Poseidon, Hades, Hermes, Zeus, Hera, and Hercules.

Obi-Wan: Oh. What do you do for a living?

Lulu: I'm a Ghostbuster.

Obi-Wan: I see.

Lulu: I'll always be worried when Rexy brings over friends because they could have some spirit following them.

Ahsoka: Lulu, what's that delicious scent?

Lulu: Cheese Danishes. Want one? *pulls platter out of nowhere*

Ahsoka: Oh yes! *grabs five*

Obi-Wan: I should warn you Lulu, Ahsoka gets a bit insane while eating cheese.

Ahsoka: Does this cheese have butter in it?

Lulu: Um, I believe so!

Ahsoka: Because I for one love butter. It makes me so happy.

Rex: Oh boy…

Ahsoka: It may be bad for you, but hey, it's yellow. There is nothing better then creamy yellow butter.

Lulu: Hmm, I suppose so…

Ahsoka: Butter is a great source of calcium. Did you know Rex that butter is made from milk? I did.

Rex: Really…

Ahsoka: Yes. I too love milk. Wait, how did we get to the subject of milk? These cheese and butter Danishes are quite divine!

Anakin: Hey Everybody! *runs up from basement* I found firecrackers in the garage!

Ahsoka: Do you think butter is flammable or inflammable?

Anakin: FIRECRACKERS!

Obi-Wan: Wait, I'm getting a call…Hello?

Ahsoka: If it is…why isn't a cow able to catch fire?

Obi-Wan: What's wrong with MeeMaw's hip?

Anakin: We'll light 'em um and blow 'em to the heavens!

Ahsoka: But milk has to be flammable too…

Obi-Wan: No Bruno! Don't remove her from the tanning bed!

Ahsoka: Cheese might be flammable….

Anakin: This one will make a star design!

Obi-Wan: I don't give a darn what kind of latte the receptionist is drinking!

Anakin: Firecracker! Firecracker! Boom, boom, boom!

Obi-Wan: Maybe if you put down the pudding cup you could lift the hood.

Ahsoka: So dairy products can catch fire?

Anakin: The boys got the muscles!

Obi-Wan: No! If you move her she could very well break her foot!

Ahsoka: I left the cottage cheese out on the counter!

Obi-Wan: Well then let the sexy massage girl move the checker piece first!

Anakin: The Masters got the brains!

Ahsoka: So wait low-fat yogurt isn't on the healthy diet list?

Obi-Wan: Well then clean up the pudding later!

Ahsoka: NO! I didn't realize watermelon juice was the most flammable!

Anakin: And the Senators got the sexy legs that make us win the game!

Obi-Wan: NOOOOO!

Ahsoka: NOOOOOO!

Anakin: YAY! *lights firecracker*

Lulu: Bravo! Bravo! I didn't realize the Twilight cast was so outgoing!

Rex: Me neither…

Lulu: See you again Rexy…

Rex: Uh yeah Lulu, c'mon guys. *Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan follow Rex*

Ahsoka: I've got a headache…

Anakin: Why is my hair black and my body covered in ashes!

Obi-Wan: And why do I feel depressed that I had just lost a loved one?

P.S. MeeMaw did not die. Bruno was able to find the number 1 on the phone to call the ambulance.

**More to come!**


End file.
